Into faith I go... Love this song by Pat Barrett. It describes my life. And this picture does too! I took this one morning and just loved the sunbeams shining down on my plants. My first glance was, "Oh, this is the perfect picture, God's love just shining down on me. A morning hello from heaven". The longer I looked at it the more mess I saw. The flat cart that's held my bee box all summer long because I won't take the time to carry it the storage shed. The collection of who knows what on the bench at the front of the picture. Things have been sitting there for months waiting for me to trash them or put them up. Oh, the flats of plants that need to be planted, and haven't been.
I find myself beating ME up because of all that I haven't done or have put off. I start doubting my purpose and self worth. I started to think about friends, women and just people in general that are beautiful creations, made with a purpose by a loving Creator, that do the same thing. How we believe the lies or clutter instead of the beauty shining down on us. I took my eyes off the beautiful sun rays and focused on the junk in my life. At that point, I start to condemn myself, lose my identity, and question my purpose.
We all go through changing phases of our lives. I'm just about to enter to final stage to a complete empty nest with our last child graduating from college. I spent most of our three children's life at home being Mom. My husband traveled for his job, so we made the choice that I would stay at home with the kids. Part of their lives I home schooled them. The first one graduated high school in 2007, then 2012 came around so quickly and then boom, 2015 was here. My job was done. (ha, we all know a momma's job is never done). But that part was done. My identity changed, or so I thought, because my job title changed. I have struggled with what purpose do I have? What am I to do now? Change. Struggle. Identity. Am I worthy. Anyone else deal with that? I had friends that had successful careers, and now I didn't have one. Oh, yeah I was a stay at home mom, but now.... You don't have to be a mid 50's momma, you could be a young adult trying to find a job, or a retired woman who now has to figure out her purpose, or a hard working husband who struggles with time away from family. The fight is real. How we doubt ourselves and who we are.
I realize that my SELF is my worst enemy. I assume others think what I'm thinking poorly about myself. It's lies ladies and gents, just lies. The enemy wants me to believe the lies. It's easy too. Society makes it easy. Success and identity are usually wrapped around money. You don't have the money or career, what are you worth? You're worth sooo much!! When I focus on the sunbeams of God, like in the picture and not on the trash below, I am worthy, loved, not forsaken, chosen, with purpose and truth. My identity is in Jesus. My earlier post I quoted Louis Giglio, "Know Jesus and make Him known". When I focus on His purpose for me, all else falls into place. What a relief!
Into faith I go! Fight off the lies, and fill yourself with the truths. And don't let your SELF beat you up! And let's build each other up! Encourage each other and not tear each other down. Remember, someone might look beautiful and put together on the outside, but could be crumbling on the inside.
BEE KIND, BEE JOY, BEE LOVE.
Blessings and love my friends. Let me know your thoughts and struggles. I want to pray for you!
Here's the song I mentioned. Enjoy!